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It's Not Always About Money

November 15th, 2011 at 12:31 am

While our little one sleeps, I get to listen to my niece and nephew fight. That's somewhat normal in today's world... Then, their dad (my brother) comes home. What's he do? Comes home, yells at them, and says, "Pack your s***, you're going to your mom's and I'm moving to the homeless shelter!" Then proceeds to yell at our mother about how he has to live in the basement when Molly and I could easily fit with the baby down there (ugh, mildew and mold with a baby, anyone?). Then yells about how he doesn't want to live anymore and how he needs to shoot himself. I'm tempted to offer him my rifle, but he would probably go on a frenzy on everyone else. This is the world (house) we live in. It's not just about money. It's about emotional stability. Unfortunately, money would help to secure that.

We live in my parents' house. Where the plumbing is corroding (a simple $1,200 fix that should be no problem for a couple that makes $60,000/yr), there's a sinkhole in the back yard (free fix - they have yet to get ahold of their contact, and it's been over six months), and the relatives are absolutely certifiable!

I don't know what to do or how to do it. The only thing I can think of is going to college (been my goal for a while now), but that will only make things harder...

My wife's mother is most likely moving into a place (out of her mother in-law's) that is 50 miles away. That would equal a 100 mile commute each workday for my wife. In one day. My wife's parents work and go to school here in town, as well as her sister. But her youngest sister goes to school in the town that is 50 miles away. So, three people are accommodating for one. Makes sense, eh? My wife and I have offered to pitch in for rent if they were to move here. The way they see it, however, is that since rent is so cheap out there, it makes up for having to drive so far. But it does not. They just don't keep track of their finances, so they've no idea.

Nerve-racking to say the least! Stuck between insanity and too far away.

11 Responses to “It's Not Always About Money”

  1. rob62521 Says:

    Sorry about the uncertainity.

    As for college, if you can swing it, go, go, go! Research indicates that most folks who go on and finish college, through their lives, make more money. Just get a degree in something that is employable.

    Hope things calm down and look up for all in your family.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    Does your family qualify for any aid from your state or county that would help pay for housing? This might get you into your own place, while you get on your feet and further your education, associate's or bachelor's degree.

    If you don't qualify...than traveling that distance would only be worth it to me for the very short term (a year or less).

    You might look around on craigslist or talk to friends to see if anyone might have a room or dry basement to rent out.

  3. Miz Pat Says:

    How about fixing up the basement so that it is not dangerous to the Baby? My sister did that when she and her husband had to live with my parents.

    It was a lot of work, but less than buying a house or than paying first, last and deposit on an apartment.

  4. Frgal Says:

    Why would we move to the basement?

    Commuting would cost us over $200/mo. We would also then not be able to donate plasma anymore, taking a $200/mo hit. Without plasma, we would be living at a $95% debt:income ratio. No room for commuting. Also would make it impossible to go to college.

    I'd be going to college for nursing. Obtaining a masters after getting five years in the field as well. It's a matter now of not having people to watch the litte one if I am at school and the wife is at work.

  5. Frgal Says:

    Oh, also, no - there are not any government assisted housing options. Something about federal spending cuts.

  6. LuckyRobin Says:

    One thing you may want to check into... when I went to school there were some colleges that had early childhood education classes (for those who want to be educators, I mean) and they often had an onsite daycare program so that these students have experience with actual children before they move on to the world of teaching preschool and such). These were not widely known about, but they did exist and they were pretty inexpensive to students going to that college who needed childcare. Now this was 20 years ago, but I would imagine some form of this might still exist. It doesn't hurt to investigate and it might possibly give you another option.

  7. creditcardfree Says:

    Frugal, government assisted housing at the college may be cut, but what about Section 8 in your area. I realize there may be a wait list, but it might be worth pursuing.

    Here's a link.

  8. Frgal Says:

    @creditcardfree - Yes, we checked our local PHA just about two months ago. However, we checked again last night, and we do not see the big red letters in bold saying that no more applications are being taken, and we even found a link to the application. So, we are going to be filling it out.

    @LuckyRobin - I was told by a student at the school I will be attending, that there is childcare available. However, that is most definitely a last route sort of deal. I have never seen a child care service that actually worked. One adult to five children? No way... Even our church's nursery is bogus and we don't let our little girl in there either. We also had plans of home schooling her for elementary, but the whole recent goings-on may get in the way of that...

  9. Frgal Says:

    Found it...

    "WAITING LIST
    Due to the large demand for rental assistance in the community and a limited amount of funding and federal budget cuts, the Boise City/Ada County wait list closed effective Friday, April 29, 2011 at 4:30 pm.

    THE BOISE CITY/ADA COUNTY HOUSING AUTHORITY IS NOT ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR THE SECTION 8 HOUSING CHOICE VOUCHER PROGRAM AT THIS TIME."

    From here: http://www.bcacha.org/Rental_Assistance/Section_8/section_8.html

  10. LuckyRobin Says:

    The daycare would probably let you observe for a day. My mother ran a daycare for a couple of years and was well able to care for five children at once, one an infant. Now, of course, this place might not be something you are comfortable with, but I'd at least check and see. You are in a bad situation right now and you may have to do a few things you don't want to do, like daycare and public school, to get you to a point where you can later do what you want to do, like homeschooling and a permanent stay at home parent. Sometimes sacrificing your goals for a little while means that you can achieve them later on. Ask yourself, if you don't go to school what happens? Compare that to what happens if you do go to school. Which provides the over all better total future? That's what needs to be aimed for.

  11. Frgal Says:

    @LuckyRobin - You're right. Just a couple hours ago, I looked into the daycare. However, it would not be free. And free to close-to-nothing is all we can afford. For their lowest income tier, it would still be $500/mo. >.<

    We are speaking with a friend of ours that may be able to help. I figure, she can let us know what days she is available, and I can sign up for classes on that day. I don't know how far in advance I have to sign up for classes, but I don't think it's that far.

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